Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Its Time To Get Your Fash-On...

This is the Lounge Pant.  It retails for $19.50.  It comes in three fashion colors year round.   Heather Gray, Blue Galaxy, and Black.  I like to call the Lounge Pant...my nemesis.

For a year I was responsible for the Lounge Pant.   Weekly I was on a conference call with India and Sri Lanka to discuss the Lounge Pant.  

Why is the factory short shipping our orders?  Why is our sales forecast allegedly not lining up to the quantity we are ordering? Why did the vendor order the wrong fabric color? Why does the average store have 40 pairs of this item in blue and only 12 in gray when gray sells more?  Why didn't the store put this item out on the sales floor?  Why after why after why after why...every week.

One of my co-workers refers to the Lounge Pant as "Loungy."  "Oh, poor Loungy," she would say.  And I under my breath could be heard saying, "Stupid Lounge Pant!"

But the Lounge Pant, through all its trials and tribulations actually sells...and continues to sell and sell and sell.  Which then brings up an on going debate.  Who actually buys this thing? Apparently, when this question was recently asked during a meeting every person male and female raised their hand and said that they owned a pair.

And here's the deal, it's an ugly pant.  It's boxey.  It doesn't lay well on the body. It has a back pocket that really serves no function.  The draw strings look goofy.  It runs long.  It's basically a glorified sweat pant.  

But I kid you not when I say as much as I hate this pant, it is the softest brushed cotton hand touch and feel that you will ever put on your body.  On a cold winter day when you just want to curl up on the couch and watch TV, it is the first thing I think about putting on.

And as we continued to debate who buys this pant and what it's end use is.  We all agreed that you would never ever be caught dead wearing this pant outside of your home!

And that brings me to why I am telling this story.  

On Sunday I was walking down Chestnut Street in the Marina.  Yes, the MARINA, home of the Marina Girls, The Singles Safeway, Sorority/Fraternity Row, all of the above.  

I had just stopped at the ATM when out of the corner of my eye I saw it.  There was a man, in broad day light, on Chestnut Street, in the Marina, wearing the Lounge Pant, in public.  I felt the embarrassment for him.  

We had all agreed that the only public activities the Lounge Pant would be acceptable for are:

1.  Going to the mailbox
2.  Running into a convenience store for milk
3.  Returning a movie rental
4.  Quickly starting a load of laundry at the laundry mat

This man was not engaging in any of these activities.  

Remember, if you choose to wear the Lounge Pant; it is for indoor activities only.  Do not do a P.D.L.P.  (Public Display of Lounge Pant)

The Song Of The Day - Disturbia by Rihanna

1 comment:

  1. Call me crazy, but I think they would look awesome with a nice pair of flip flops.