Friend Indeed . . .

Today is my co-worker Branden's last day.  So in his honor he gets a blog.

Here are the top ten things I will miss about Branden:

1. Even though he only sits one cube away he prefers to communicate via instant message or e-mail.
   
2. Our ongoing discussions about Kanye West's girlfriend Amber Rose.
3. His consistent choice of pairing a button down woven with a sweater.
4. Discussing the disastrous Wednesday evening conference calls with Sri Lanka and India (This one's for you Richa!)
5. No one else finds humor in an unkempt dentist.
6. The daily discussion of "what would you do if someone handed you a pillow and said to go sleep in the hall."
7. Listening to him bicker with my work wife Jan.
8. The mustache incident of 2009.
9. Generic re-caps about television shows he hasn't seen since he doesn't have a TV.
10. Sitting in the back of meetings and finding something to laugh about.

Good luck Branden, you will be missed!

The Song Of The Day - Gold Digger ft Jamie Foxx by Kanye West

When I Dip You Dip We Dip . . .

Continuing the tradition of sharing fast food tips with the Loyal Readers, I wanted to pass this one along that relates specifically to condiments.

Most fast food restaurants now have self serve ketchup.  The little paper cups that are used to hold the ketchup are very small and make it hard for dipping.  

So it occurred to me that if you want a better dipping experience, try turning a plastic drink lid upside down and using it to hold your ketchup.

See how much better my drink lid worked in comparison to the little paper cup above.

I know you are all excited to try this the next time you are at McDonald's!  You can thank me later.

The Song Of The Day - Da Dip by Freak Nasty

We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off . . .

For the second time in Just Jon history a mannequin has made me burst out laughing.

I was greeted at the entrance of a store this weekend by this female mannequin who was accessorized with a pair of shoes, a bag, and nothing else.

Way to work it sweetie!

The Song Of The Day - Clothes Off By Gym Class Heroes

Seventeen . . .

A "Party Foul" occurred at the laundry mat today.  

Often when I wheel my "granny" cart over to the laundry mat across the street from my apartment it is packed with people.  Today was that rare occasion when there was only three other people there.  

One gentleman was just leaving as I entered.  

I started my "triple loader" totally content that I would have time to walk down the street to the ATM and back without worrying about making sure I was there when the load was done to empty the machine.

I made my trip to the ATM and arrived back to move my clothing from the washing machine over to the dryer.  

A "triple load" usually requires about three to four dryers.

I like to use the larger dryers at the back of the laundry mat and there were four available.

I emptied the washing machine and wheeled my cart back to the dryers which was a total distance of one foot.   

I opened up two dryer doors to start sorting.  

As I began to sort, two foreign women swooped in and took the remaining two dryers. 

What?

There were seventeen available dryers!  (see the above photo) Why did they have to come and take the ones I was trying to fill?  Then they kept giving me dirty looks because the dryer door on the unit I was filling kept swinging all the way open and blocked their dryer.

OK, not my fault.  I was filling the dryers first.  Was I supposed to stop what I was doing to hold the dryer door for them?  I don't think so.

Here is the best part, the next customer that came in also tried to use one of the back dryers. The above photo shows the empty laundry mat with every one crowded around the same machines.

The crazy part is the seventeen empty machines are actually newer and cleaner.  I just always have too much stuff to fit into them.

The Song Of The Day - Seventeen by Ladytron

Look . . .

Have you ever heard the phrase "Everything I ever needed to learn in life, I learned in kindergarten"?

One of the first things children are taught as they begin to venture out in life is to "look both ways" before crossing the street.

Well apparently this lesson was lost on the citizens of San Francisco.

At several busy intersections throughout the City the above decal is inlaid into the pavement as a reminder of that lesson we learned so long ago.  This must be the City's attempt at remedial education of its citizens.

Thanks Gavin!

The Song Of The Day - Look Up by Stars

You Know The Night Time, Is The Right Time . . .

Loyal Readers, a few weeks ago I told you about the newly opened California Academy Of Sciences located in Golden Gate Park.  The Academy features a planetarium, rainforest, aquarium and much more. 

Recently The Academy also started a program called "Nightlife" from 6pm to 10pm on Thursdays.  

The Academy charges a small admission fee, and in addition to the normal exhibits, it offers music, cash bars and food.  The event is the current hot ticket in town and sells out each week. I kid you not when I say that the line to get in was down the block.  There were more people there for "Nightlife" than when I went on a Saturday a few weeks ago.

Unfortunately, I am beginning to think I will never make inside the actual planetarium show. This is because once again all the elusive passes had already been given out by the time my friends and I entered the building.

This did not stop us from enjoying a trip through the rainforest, a visit to the coral reef, an attempt to see the African penguins, and a viewing of the albino alligator.

That being said, all those things could not compare to what we saw next.  A very rare creature indeed. Spotted in its natural habitat was the "White Person."  Intoxicated by the consumption of alcohol, the "White Person" began to demonstrate it's rare mating dance to woo the female of the species.  Fortunately for you Loyal Readers, I was able to document this dance on film.

(I am not sure why the video uploaded on it's side, but you get the general idea of the amazing creature that is the "White Person.")

The Song Of The Day - (Night Time Is) The Right Time by Ray Charles 

Pieces . . .

Last year I tried pottery painting for the first time.   I wasn't sure if I would like painting pottery because I was worried that my perfectionist tendencies would make the experience more stressful than enjoyable.

My friends and I found a pottery painting studio in Noe Valley called Terra Mia and off we went. 

We usually start the day happy and talkative.   Then by the end of the day we are so over it.

The first piece I did was a "sushi" platter.  I was inspired by a plate the studio had displayed on the wall.  It had small dots that spread out across the plate.  

I could replicate that.  And I figured "dots" wouldn't stress me out because you can't really mess them up.  

EIGHT! HOURS! later I had stiff neck and back and as I was putting the last dot on I smeared it!  I didn't let myself freak out.  I just tried to think of a way to mask the mistake.  Hence the "Sun Burst" in the center of the plate.

Here's the other thing about pottery painting; the color that you paint on the clay changes completely when the piece is fired in the kiln.  So you really have to think about what the end product is going to look like, not what it looks like right now.  Then depending how many layers of paint you put on; the color can change.  That means you have to keep track of where you have put multiple layers of paint to make sure the piece looks consistent after it is fired.

The second piece I did was inspired by a photograph I took of the Golden Gate Bridge.  After the eight hour "dot" experience I figured I might as well try and paint an actual image.  This time my friends and I completed our work in six hours!  

I really liked how this piece looked.   That is I really liked how it looked before it was fired up in the kiln.  It is still pretty cool, but not quite what I thought it was going to be.  

Our most recent trip to Terra Mia was last weekend.  With a birthday gift certificate courtesy of my friend Shamoli in hand, I was ready to get my paint on.  

This time I decided to branch out from the flat plates and try something a little more difficult.  I decided to do a vase.   

I am happy to report that I finally have a piece that I am really happy with!  It turned out exactly how I envisioned it!

The Song Of The Day - Pieces Of Me by Ashlee Simpson